Oh my goodness! September and August have been like a mad house!  I loved every second of it, but it’s been pretty hard out and I am now forcing myself to slow down and take better care of myself.

Editing Recalibrate and researching for the talks and interviews I’ve done over last few months and making youtube videos has taken me back to some places I haven’t thought about in a while.  Like visiting him in prison afterwards.  I feel a real sense of objectivity when I think back on it but I still remember the pain, the abject humiliation and sense of complete disempowerment I felt at the time.  I’ve been immersed in editing for about eighteen months now, but I’ve been concentrating on the healing aspect of my journey so going back to face the scary parts was very intense.

Really I could probably stay at the editing stage for years but there has to be a point when I have to hand it over to the professionals! Let go!  It’s a recurring theme in my life.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed about being out in the public eye, even though I know I’m strong enough to deal with whatever comes my way, it’s still pretty full on.  I’m learning to better navigate the media.  They can be so sneaky and so focused on their own agenda.  And I already knew that, so I don’t know why it surprised me this time around.  Forever the optimist!  Always thinking people will treat me how I treat them. It amazes me sometimes that I’ve come through so much and sometimes there is still this innocent naivety to my thoughts.

I have received messages from people all over the world sharing their stories with me. I love getting messages from people telling me about their experiences.  Their bravery and courage to share their stories with me inspires me and makes me even more determined to keep doing what I am doing.

Nine days left of my pledgeme campaign. And even though it’s not quite halfway raised yet I still have faith we are going to make it! It has been a little disheartening at times that the target is so slow to reach, but I have to keep the faith. I am so grateful to everyone that has contributed so far.  I really do feel supported, but I am feeling the pressure.  No matter what happens, Recalibrate will get out there!

These last few months have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster at times.  It’s good for me to stop and revaluate where I am and notice issues as they arise and deal with them on the spot.  It’s funny, just when I think I’m totally sorted and at peace some other challenge or obstacle is thrown in my way and I have to reassess what I am doing.  I love challenges and obstacles though because they offer me a chance to grow and learn new lessons.  Sometimes relearn old lessons I thought I had but seemed to of forgotten!

My biggest lessons over the past few months.

Self-care is the most important part of my life.

Right now I have to make sure I’m taking the best care if myself that I can and I’m continually self-monitoring my energy levels and health as I have had a tendency in the past to ignore my fading energy and the little signs, and keep pushing through.  But if I want to be here for the long haul I really need to pace myself and put my health and my sanity first.  Everything else will fall into place if I take good care of me.

My signs that I’m not taking good enough care of myself are:

Feeling stressed out and like there are too many demands on me.

A general malaise that I can’t shake no matter how much sleep I get.

A niggle like intermittent earache.

An intermittent tickle in the back of my throat

Starting to not sleep more than 4-5 hours a night, which leads me to craving sugar and eating crap food that I didn’t prepare.

Pain through the bone in my left wrist.

Pain in my thumbs.

Pain in my forearms.

I want to run away from the world and not talk to humans…ever again!

If I take care of myself in lots of little ways I’m not in any pain, my energy levels are good, I don’t feel excessively stressed or emotional and I eat and sleep well and feel empowered and balanced and ready for anything.

Let go of control.

I can’t control what others print about me or how interviews are cut and edited or when they appear.  I just have to it let go.  Be myself and do my thing.  Speak my truth and leave it in the hands of the universe.

Stop being so hard on myself and let the process happen.

I have to move past fear to get shit done! (an oldie but a goodie!)  I have been very intimidated by the idea of blogging.  Having my own blog seemed so out there.  Like all of a sudden I would now be more accountable for everything I put out into the world.  But of course I always am anyway, but now it seems like it I am truly putting something out into the world with my name on it.  Scary!!!

I was also really intimidated by the idea of making videos and having a youtube account.  Oh my goodness!  That is totally putting myself out there!  Stumbling along!  Twitter has been a bit of a disaster! I understand a little more about twitter etiquette now so yay!  Facebook I’m pretty sussed on but I need to remind myself how long it took to understand that.  I’m not the most technologically literate person in the world!  That’ll come.  On my to-learn list is video editing and power point presentation making.

Where my strengths lie.  How passion is the best indicator of my strengths.

Talking to the physio therapists studying hand therapy at AUT I was reminded how much I love teaching. Being an educator is something I am passionate about, whether it is natural therapies, empowerment, the practicalities of healing, or teaching people to live safe and healthy lives free from violence. Funny how I find being in front of a crowd very daunting, but when it is a classroom situation and in a teaching environment I find it a lot easier. It has reinforced for me that I am on the right track and I can do this. I can stand up and take my gifts to the world.

Very soon my Selfcare web series will be up on my youtube channel and you can take care of yourself with me.  I’m really excited about that.  I can’t wait to share with you all of the tips I have for healing and extreme self care!

Remember, if you don’t work, nothing works!

Lots of love, talk to you soon!

Simonne xxx